Monday, March 30, 2009

Changes

Well, spring is finally in the air, and with springtime comes changes... the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, that fresh smell overtakes the air... the wonders of God seem to be screaming their presence for us to see. Some changes, though, can also create challenges. Spring often brings a whole new calendar of activities for those who have children active in various sports, allergies can sometimes increase with the new spring air, and that feeling of needing to do some spring cleaning may begin to start pulling at us (the results of spring cleaning are wonderful, the task of spring cleaning not so much!).

So I'm thinking about changes today. As I've shared before, God has been working on me for some time now, and asking me to make some difficult changes in my life. While they are exciting and always prove to be the best thing for me, the process is not always easy. What God requires of us changes as we go through different seasons of our life. At times, He may ask us to simply 'Be still and know that He is God' - pary continually, spend time daily in studying God's Word, praise God no matter what our circumstances are, etc. Other times, the Lord may ask us to give Him everything we've got - listen for His voice, trust Him completely, be obedient to what He tells us to do (even if we don't really want to!), and make changes that may be difficult for us to make at the time. No matter what season we are in, though, we must keep our hearts and minds focused on Him, and praise Him at all times. God's Word tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required" (Luke 12:48). But I've learned that with God, 'to much is required, much is also given'! When God requires much, He is faithful, and He will do even more - you can never out-give God! Sometimes, God requires a lot from us simply so we can have the privilege of being in a living, breathing relationship with Him.

I'm on spring break with my family this week at my in-laws house in North Carolina. I'm ashamed to say that this is the first time in several years that I have taken this trip with my family. They come down here every year, but in my misdirected "loyalty" to my business and my teammates in the business, I have chosen to stay home the last several years. I hate to confess it, but I also did the same thing many of the last several Thanksgivings. One of the major changes that God has had me make over the last several months was making the decision to give up my office and go part-time in my business. It was a very hard decision for me to make and I denied His calling to do so for several months, but once the decision was made, it has become a blessing in more ways than I could have ever imagined (as the song says, "I guess the Lord knows what He's doing after all"!). I have enjoyed being home with my youngest son and getting him off the bus from preschool. I've been able to be there for my daughter when she has gone through some difficult times the last couple of months - not just in body, but I was able to be with her 100% and give her my full attention, without feeling guilty that I should have been doing something at work. I've been able to be at sports banquets with my oldest son, and show him by my actions, not just my words, how important he is to me. And I have been able to take this vacation with my family, and enjoy just being with them, doing absolutely nothing!

I'm thinking about those "changes" that God asks us to make. It's true that some are difficult for us because of the things we have to do, the challenges we have to face, or because they force us to get out of our comfort zone. But many are difficult because we have to look ourselves honestly in the mirror and face the reality that we have allowed things other than God to take priority in our lives, even if they appear to be good things. How many times have we settled for good when God had something great in store for us if we had just listened to Him and been obedient to what He told us to do?

So I'm making some changes today - again! (And I'm asking the Lord to forgive me for the times that I did not uphold the changes I've made in the past.) I'm changing how I look at things and what I decide is really important in my life. I'm changing the order of the priorities I keep in my life to be God, family, then business (not just the order that I say I keep!). I'm changing how I look at the times when I am privileged to do "nothing" with my family - some "nothings" are way more important than many of the "somethings" in my life. And I'm changing my commitment to the changes I'm making, and I'm counting on Jesus to help me keep my commitments when my human nature is tempted to forget!

God is a God of changes... but He is also a God of faithfulness, and He promises to be with us through all of the changes we are required to make. How blessed are we that the Lord loves us so much that He pursues us to be in relationship with Him, He guides us down paths to unbelievable treasures, He shows us where we need to change to reach those destinations, and He helps us make those changes as He molds us to be like He made us to be?!

I hope you will join me in praising the Lord today, no matter what season of change you are in today!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Whose Lives Are You Touching?

I've had this post on my mind since last Friday, but I have been blessed with a lot of 'wonderful chaos' the last few days and have not taken the time to write it. My husband and I went to a dinner on Friday to celebrate a good friend's retirement from the Air Force after 29 years of service to his country. It was great to see him and his wife and share their joy as they begin this new chapter of their lives. His friends had put together an awesome slide show, and several of his coworkers gave funny and heartfelt presentations - we had a great time!

But the thing that kept coming to my mind is how many people's lives he had touched during the course of his career. Many were there to celebrate with them, but I know there are hundreds if not thousands of others that have had the pleasure to know him over the years. Of course, he has impacted people's lives in very big ways and through very significant military programs. But what stood out to me the most were the "little things" that he is remembered for: the way he made sure he shook every person's hand every time he met them; his sense of humor; his leadership; the day-to-day things that he did for people that were over and above the call of duty, and that showed them that he truly cared about them; how he could take charge and get the job done, but also enjoy the process, and help others to enjoy the process as well; the way he made sure that every single person in that room knew how much he appreciated them being part of his life; the love he showed for his family and his friends; the way he made everyone feel special; the very real appreciation that he showed for each person taking time to share that event with him; basically, how he made each and every person a better person because they knew him.

So the question that came to my mind was, "What kind of impact am I making on the lives of those who I come in contact with?". Am I taking time to show my appreciation for the people in my life? Am I an example of "enjoying the process", no matter what path God has me on at the time? Am I showing God's love to my friends, family, coworkers, and others who cross my path? Do I take time to make others feel special just because they're them? Can others tell by my words and my actions that I am living my life for Christ? Am I doing everything I can to take them on that journey with me, and help move them closer to God? Do people feel better or worse after spending time with me? Are people better off because they know me?

I hope this doesn't come across as if "it's all about me" because that is certainly not my intent. In fact, I'm asking myself tonight (or I should say this morning!), "Am I truly living my life to be "all about Jesus", and putting others first in my life as He would have me do?" I want to leave a legacy for my children and my children's children; not necessarily a monetary legacy, but a legacy of faith, of love, and of being the type of person who does what is right and makes other people feel better about themselves, whether anyone notices or not.

I don't have the answers to any of those questions, but I pray that by continually asking myself these types of questions (and counting on the Lord to help me), I will stay focused on the "little things" that are oh so important! After all, when I get down to it, my job is pretty simple... love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love my neighbor as myself, right?! And thankfully, the Lord will guide me every step of the way to do both of those things, if I only ask Him.

And in case I haven't told you lately... YOU are special, and I appreciate you!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

A Grateful Heart

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I thought I had messed up a phone interview impacting a change in direction that I've felt God leading me to. I also mentioned that while I felt that I had failed God, He reminded me that He will never fail me; and that if this is really God's will and the timing is right, than even I couldn't mess it up. You guessed it! In spite of myself, I received a phone call yesterday giving me the approval to go ahead to the next step of this process. I was so excited! Not just because of getting to move forward with this, but because it was so obvious to me that God has had His hand in this process every step of the way, especially in changing my heart and mindset towards it. Like I said the other day, it's crazy to me that I got so upset when I though I messed this up, when just a few short weeks ago I didn't even want to think about the idea of walking down this particular path that He has laid in front of me! On my own, my reaction would have been "whew... I got off the hook with that one!" But instead, God has opened my heart to this next step, and has given me the confidence to know that although I question my own ability to succeed in this, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." So my heart is grateful for new opportunities, and especially, for my growing relationship with Christ. Which, by the way, I'm learning that having a personal relationship with God comes from being obedient to what He tells us, and that our relationship with Him begins because He pursues us -He is the only One who can create that desire in us to seek a personal relationship with Jesus. Wow, how amazing is that?!

My heart is grateful today, too, for the simple, daily moments with my family. My baby boy, Kevin, is turning five on Saturday, so we spent yesterday afternoon baking, icing, and sprinkling cookies for him to take to school. All too often I forget how special these moments really are. All Kevin could talk about the last few days (except for how many more days it was until his birthday, of course!) was getting to make those cookies! I sometimes wonder at what age it is that we lose that enthusiasm for the little things. I'm praying that from this point forward, I will begin seeing those "small" things as the "really big" things of life - that is my prayer today for you, as well.

My daughter, Kelly, came home from college yesterday for spring break, so I am looking forward to sharing many of those "really big" moments with her over the next week and a half. One of our firsts in going to be taking Kevin to Chuck E. Cheese on Friday (how blessed am I to have an 18 year old who is truly excited to get to go to Chuck E. Cheese with her little brother?!). I was also blessed to enjoy a couple of great evenings with my 16 year old son, Walter, over the last few days. One was getting to have a date night with him Saturday and staying out VERY late to see a movie with him (only for my children would I go to see a three hour movie at ten o'clock at night!). I also got to go with him to his wrestling banquet on Monday. To be honest, I'm ashamed to say that I really wasn't looking forward to spending the evening with a bunch of people I don't know and spending several hours listening to a coach talk. However, it turned out to be a great time; and the events of the evening provided a lot of great things for us to talk about after the banquet. Those are the moments that matter! My heart is thankful that the Lord keeps reminding me of this, and allowing me to experience these moments even when I am not looking at them as I should.

Of course, I can't have a conversation about gratitude and special moments without including my husband, Jeff! We have been married 21-1/2 years, and I know it sounds corny, but we grow closer and fall more in love with each other with every passing year. We have learned so much about each other and about ourselves, and we have grown so much in our personal walks with Jesus over the years. We have been going through the Fireproof series at church and in our small group, and the conversations that have stemmed from those sessions and from our homework each week have been great. Just the fact that we have been setting aside a particular time each week to go through the couples section and talk have been great moments together. Plus, we talk a lot more on a daily basis, and look forward to hearing about each other's day. Of course, we've had our share of bumps in the road, and even all of the changes that God has had us make over the last couple of years, although good, have had some challenges that went along with them. As always, though, God uses everything for good, and these rough spots have only made us stronger as individuals, strengthened our marriage, and deepened our personal relationships with the Lord. In talking about our marriage vows in the Fireproof series, we realized that we both took our vows very seriously, we did not really look at them as a vow between us and God. We asked Him to bless our marriage, we were married in a church, and we knew that God was "over" our marriage; but we really didn't make our commitments with Him as the center. We look back now and wonder how we ever made it through some of the tough times in our marriage, as parents, and in life in general - but God is faithful, and He helped us through in spite of ourselves! What a difference it makes to live life with God as the center of everything, especially our marriage!

So what are you grateful for today? I encourage you to take time today to think of all of the special moments that you've had recently. Personally, I know that I am much closer to God and hear His voice more clearly when I have an attitude of gratitude. And I have so much to be thankful for!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"I Will Never Fail You!"

In my last post, I mentioned having a "you've got to be kidding!" moment with God. It seems I've had a lot of those lessons from the Lord lately in which God has called me to make some changes in my life - and frankly, I wasn't too excited about any of them at first. Obviously, the things that God has asked me to change in my life have proven to be the best move at the exactly right time for so many different reasons (go figure!). Every day, I make a conscious decision to surrender everything to God and to ask Him to help me to be obedient to follow where He leads me, and give me wisdom and courage to act when He calls me to. And I'd like to tell you that I have been a faithful servant and have responded in obedience whenever I hear His call - I'd like to, but I can't! I honestly do want to stay in the center of God's will, to listen and obey immediately, to have unshakable faith, and to trust God completely (and have my actions reflect these attitudes and beliefs). I have to confess, though, that as much as I want those things, I still seem to drag my feet, question what I know God is telling me, and somehow believe that He must be talking to someone else when He is calling me to something outside of my comfort zone. Again, it is very easy to for me to know that God is perfect, He knows all, He doesn't make mistakes, and His plans are always right - except for when He is talking to me!

It has taken me awhile to accept the most recent steps that I believe God has been calling me to take, but I had finally gotten to the point that I not only accepted it myself, but was actually able to verbalize it to a few close friends, and I started taking action on it. Without going in to all of the details, I was put in a position yesterday where I needed to share with a key person what my background and testimony is, why I am pursuing this venture, and what I intend to do if I should go forward and complete this undertaking. Well, let's just say I blew it! I was caught completely off guard, and really did a horrible job explaining myself and telling my story. Needless to say, I was frustrated and disappointed, and felt that I had failed God and had blown one of the first things that He has told me to do. Of course, if it's God's will, and the timing is right, then me sounding like a blithering idiot wouldn't have as huge of an impact as I made it out to be. I just want so badly to stay in the center of God's will and be obedient to Him - I know this is a process and a relationship, not a decision or any one event. While I am trusting Him for direction, I know that I also need to do my part when He asks me. It seems I am reminded every day in some way that it is all about the relationship that I have with Jesus, not so much the "what's next?" that stems from that relationship (You'd think I'd catch on sooner or later, wouldn't you?!). It is so overwhelmingly amazing to me that we can truly have this living, breathing, one-on-one relationship with Him! So, I beat myself up for awhile (I don't do that as often as I used to, but I am still pretty good at it!), and I whined and vented to my pastor and a couple of close friends (which then meant that I had to apologize to each of them this morning!).

In my prayers last night and this morning, though, I kept hearing the Lord tell me, "yes, but I will never fail you!". Wow - point taken! My job is to hold on to Him, listen, and be obedient - to surrender everything to Him everyday, and give Him my best every day - and trust Him to take care of the rest! He is always in total control, and everything that happens is either part of His perfect will or His permissive will - and He can use everything for good, no matter how much I goof up, as long as I keep walking closely with Him. Believe it or not, I am learning - I may be a slow learner, but I am learning!

What's funny in all of this is that I got so upset because I may have messed this up, when just a few short weeks ago I didn't even want to think about the idea of walking down this particular path that He has laid in front of me! God has been gracious and eliminated some of the desires of my heart, and He apparently has created new ones I wasn't even aware of! God is good... all the time!

So I don't know yet what the result will be from my stellar performance yesterday, but that's OK. I will continue asking the Lord or direction, listening to what He tells me, and doing my very best to be obedient the moment that He reveals Himself and His will to me. I often think that every experience is supposed to teach me something or reveal something to me; but I'm learning that sometimes we must go through an experience simply to develop our character and allow God to continue molding us into the person He created us to be. I pray that I will remain pliable to Him every step of the way in this wonderful journey of change, growth, and becoming closer to God.

What about you?... What is God teaching you today? Are you remaining pliable by staying in His word and seeking His direction? God has great plans for us, and He will see them through to fruition if we will only empty ourselves of everything that is not of Him, and continually allow Him to mold us into the person He created us to be... no matter how difficult the process may seem at the time! Remember, we are in the Potter's Hands - What better place could we be?!

Monday, March 16, 2009

You've Got To Be Kidding!

My husband and I went to see Casting Crowns in concert on Friday - WOW! What an UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME concert! If you ever get a chance to see them, I highly recommend it - this is the second time we've been fortunate enough to see them in concert, and I look forward to seeing them again. From my experience, Christian concerts such as this are really as much a worship session as it is a concert. It is pretty much guaranteed that God will use that time to speak to you in a very personal way - this was no exception. I have been hearing God calling me to take some steps toward doing something that is WAY out of my comfort zone, knowledge, experience, abilities, and everything else (I know, God doesn't look for our abilities, He looks for our availability, but...!)! While He has been planting seeds in me for quite awhile now about heading in this direction, but it just did not make any sense to me - I am SO not the person I would ever see in this role. At one point in the concert, Mark Hall (the lead singer of Casting Crowns) asked if anyone has had a "You've got to be kidding!" moment with God lately? I laughed out loud, I couldn't believe it! He talked about the things that God called him to do, and how he could name many other people who would be great choices to do those things, but certainly not him. I had just had that same conversation with my husband a day or two before, telling him that 'this is completely ridiculous to even think about, let alone tell anyone else about'.

On the way home from the concert, my husband and I were talking about that moment in the concert. We wondered why it is so easy for us to know that God is perfect, He knows all, He doesn't make mistakes, and His plans are always right - except for when He is talking to us! Then it becomes, "I think You have the wrong person, God", "You can't be talking to me!" Personally, I've seen that it is easy to believe these things as long as we are talking about or to someone else. In fact, I just recently had a very similar conversation with a friend who is facing a decision in her life and trying to discern what God's will is, and she has some fears about whether she can actually even do it or not. How easy was it for me to tell her: "Remember, God gets even more glory when we accomplish things that others know that we are not particularly skilled in.", "He will give you what you need one step at a time as you need it.", "True faith is shown when we are obedient to Him even when we don't want to be or when we don't feel capable to do as He says.", "You are only seeing the next step and not the end result - this may be only for a season, and not even leading where you think, but He still has a purpose for you to do it." Wow - is that not the epitome of 'do as I say, not as I do'?!

What is God calling you to today? But remember, don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer, because if you are listening, He will tell you! I am choosing to listen and obey, and I am trusting Him and His ability to accomplish His plans, not my own ability. I'm reminded again of my need to surrender everything to Him everyday, one day at a time. I will give Him my very best today, and trust Him to take care of the rest! I hope and pray that you will, too - His plans are so much better than any we could possibly have for ourselves!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Be An Encourager!

I was thinking today about a funny thing that my almost 5 year old said a couple of weeks ago, and it got me wondering about how much I encourage (or discourage!) those around me. I had been attempting to straighten some things up around the house, and was having my son, Kevin, put away some of his toys in his room. He was doing a great job, and without any arguing, when he all of a sudden called to me from upstairs. When I asked him what he wanted, he said, "Mom, will you say 'Go, Kevin, Go! Go, Kevin, Go!'?!" So, of course, I cheered him on! Afterall, I am his biggest fan! It kind of became a joke with my husband and me and our two other kids, and also with some friends and coworkers that we shared the story with. I don't know how many people we have cheered on saying, "Go, _____, Go! Go, _____, Go!"!

So I got to thinking today about how important encouraging each other is in our lives. Granted, we may not go around asking others to 'cheer us on', but don't we all appreciate it and feel better when someone encourages us in some way or recognizes something that we've done? More importantly, how great do we feel when we have the privilege of being an encouragement to someone else? What about our relationship with Christ, and our purpose in Him? Isn't part of our commitment to Him making others glad in God? After all, most of the world is negative and beaten down; if we are to be in the world but not of the world, shouldn't we show a different testimony to the Lord by being positive and uplifting? I've learned that most people are lonely, afraid, or suffering through some type of painful situation that's invisible to the rest of the world. You never know (and you may never know) what that one compliment, thank you, encouraging word, or act of kindness could mean to someone whom God puts in your path!

I'm preparing to go on my first missions trip to Reynosa, Mexico this summer. One of the things I ran across as I have started to prepare for this trip is not to be discouraged if you don't see lives "changed" while you are serving others on a missions trip. Our job is to plant seeds of faith and show the love of Christ to others - God will take care of the rest! Sometimes we may be one of the people who crosses their path and plants a seed, sometimes we may water the seeds that others have planted, and other times we may be one who is reaping the harvest - but remember, the harvest can't come if the seeds aren't planted.

So I am asking God to show me what He wants me to do or say to be a blessing to others. I'm praying for my eyes to be opened to opportunities to recognize and encourage others, and that I make the effort to act on what God shows me. I'm going to make a conscious effort to give compliments at every opportunity I get; if I am grateful to someone or notice something positive about them, I'm not keeping that to myself, I'm going to tell them. I love sending cards and notes to people and I do that quite a bit now, but I am committing to sending those to a lot more people for a lot more reasons (Who doesn't love getting a hand-written note of encouragement or thanks?!). And who knows... if someone's life is touched by someone noticing them and going the extra mile to encourage them, their heart may be opened just a little more to allow in the One who can really change their life!

So... this one's for you: "Go, friend, Go! Go, friend, Go!" Who needs your encouragement today?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Not My Will

Have I mentioned that God has been leading me to make some changes in my life lately?! I'll be the first to tell you that I didn't really want to hear most of the things that God has been telling me to do in my life, and I haven't been very cooperative. You can probably guess that God's persistence won out over my stubbornness! A quote that comes to my mind quite often these days is "God won't ask you to do more than you can handle, but He may push you to your limits!". I think it's safe to say that God has been pushing me to my limits a lot over the last several months - but what a privilege it is to be pushed by God!

One of the many things I'm learning is that if I want to live a life walking securely with the Lord, I have to be willing to say, "Not my will, but Your will be done, Lord!" At first thought, that doesn't seem too difficult, does it? But let's face it... we are human, and we form attachments to our plans and desires, and as much as we may want to give those over to God, it can still be very emotional and tough to do. I have definitely found this to be true with some of the changes I've been needing to make in my life, and quite frankly it was very tough for me and I felt a lot of loss at the beginning. But when I decided to surrender my dreams and plans to Him, He took away my desire for those things, and replaced my desire for things the things that He has planned for me. As long as I continued pursuing dreams that were not from God, He would not bless those, and I would be forever frustrated. Even if the dreams and desires in my heart are from Him, I still need to surrender them to Him - God wants me to strive to be close to Him, not striving to reach my own selfish dreams. He wants me to quit trying to make those dreams happen in my own strength - He wants (and requires) me to trust Him to make them happen through me. What a world of difference! What a relief it is, and how exciting it is, to know that God is in control, and my only job is to trust Him completely!

So I ask myself (and encourage you to ask yourself), "What am I holding on to that I need to surrender to God?", "Am I settling for 'good' when God has something 'great' planned for me?" I have no idea where God is leading me! But I do know that I want to be obedient to Him, and seek daily to stay in the center of His will. And by the way, my goal is not to discover what God's will is for my life; my goal is to seek to discover what God's will is, and listen for where He wants me to fit in to that plan.

I'm doing my best to let go of my goals and dreams and start holding on to Him - I have no doubts that by me letting go of the things I long for, God will bring it back to me in ways so much more wonderful that I can even imagine!

I pray that you, too, are seeking only to hold on to God, to give up your will and be obedient to His will, and that you open yourself up to changes (probably some tough changes!) and allow Him to bless you beyond your wildest dreams!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Relationships

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine added a post to her blog (http://www.hereandhome.blogspot.com/) about a mother's love - about having a grateful heart not only for her children but for all of the gifts that God has given them, and about believing God and that He chose her specifically to care for and guide those children. That got me thinking about my own kids, the many gifts that God as given them, and exactly what God entrusted to me when He chose me to have the privilege of being their mother. I've been thinking about all of the hopes and dreams I have had for them over the years, the worries and fears, the tough times we have gone through together, the many smiles and happy times together, the "discussions with purpose" we've had as they have grown more independent, the hugs and kisses, and so much more... basically, all of the times, good and bad, that came together to create so many memories for us all. I also thought about so many things that seemed to be so consuming or worrisome at the time, that in the bigger picture of things were really not that important. After all, no matter what was going on, celebrations or challenges, God used all of them for good (sometimes it took us awhile to see that, but He was/is always faithful).

So, what about today? With all of the lessons "learned" over the years, you'd think that the things of this world (both material and emotional) would not be a concern. Wrong! In faith, I know that God loves them even more than I do, He wants the very best for them (notice I didn't say He wants them to have an "easy" life!), He has a great purpose for each of them,and He is truly the One who is in control and guiding their steps. I hope and pray that more times than not I am the parent He wants me to be, and that I turn to Him for guidance in leading them. But the overriding question that came to my mind today is what do I really want for my children? When all of the "stuff" in life is cleared away, the main thing that I want for my kids is that they will forever seek to develop their own personal relationships with God, and that everything they do in their life will give glory to God. That's it. So my challenge is in keeping that focus at the center of my choices, decisions, relationships, and everything else related to my children. Somehow I think I'm going to have to ask God for help with that on a regular basis, don't you?!

Another type of relationship has been on my mind today as well. That is the friendship relationships that I am so grateful for in my life. Friends have always been important to me, but those relationships have been especially important to me over the last couple years, and particularly over the last couple of months. I've also discovered that the there is something "different" in the relationship building process when you're part of a group that has Christ at its' center. That may not make sense, but my experience in various small groups is that there just seems to be a connection on a deeper level more quickly than with a "regular" group, even more than in some Bible studies and "church-type" groups. Don't get me wrong... I have some wonderful friends that began in other groups. But I have been blessed to be part of a group recently that has become more important to me than I even realized until lately. Of course, another "great" relationship builder is in going through tough times together. That seems to be the time that we open our eyes and see the "real" friends in our lives; those whom maybe we've been friends with for awhile, but that friendship is taken to a much deeper level as we are able to share the challenges we are facing with each other. Unfortunately, most of us learn to lean on others more when we are struggling than we do in good times (Sounds familiar, doesn't it?! Isn't that when we tend to be the closest to God as well? You don't think that maybe God puts friends in our lives for a reason, do you?!).

The most consistent lessons that God has been teaching me the last couple of years have had to do with surrender and obedience (you probably guessed that in just these last few postings!). I believe that fellowship with others is also an act of obedience - it opens our hearts, enables us to encourage and support each other, teaches us to be vulnerable at times and how to depend on another, provides comfort in the down times and shared joy in the good times, etc., etc., etc.). I am especially grateful for the truest friends who accept me as I am but won't allow me to stay as I am - those who challenge me to be all that God created me for, and who are willing to speak the truth to me in love when I need it, and those who choose to walk side by side with me in this journey that we are taking with the Lord. Who could ask for more?!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Power Of The Gospel To Bring Change

Our church missions weekend concluded this evening with a concert of prayer. To be honest, I really didn't know going in what exactly a concert of prayer was so I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that I wanted to be a part of it, and I didn't want to miss any of what our guest missionaries had to say. It was a very powerful evening of prayer and worship! Our pastors set up the evening to include everyone in prayer, dividing us into smaller prayer groups at various times throughout the evening to focus on different prayer requests. Ron Julian Jr. (one of our visiting missionaries) also shared with us his leadership team's vision for the future of their ministry, and gave us more specific prayer requests to focus on in our small groups this evening and in the coming weeks and months. While our goal is always to be fully engaged in the worship service and in continual prayer and praise, this format brought a whole new level of connection, not just with God, but with each other as well (at least for me).

A couple of other things that stood out to me from all of today's events are:

- Understanding that we need to go back (as we move forward in blessings, as we are forgiven, etc.) - "Who are the people that God wants us to go back to so that they may come to know Jesus?". For me personally, I know there were a few people that came to my mind immediately that I need to "go back to" and continue to plant seeds until they reach the point of accepting Christ as their personal Savior. We have been given a wonderful gift, and it is our responsibility to share that gift with others, no matter how uncomfortable we may be or how much ridicule we may receive.

- The Power of the Gospel to bring change! While we have a lot of tools and gifts to offer others and a lot of physical needs that we can help fulfill for others and enable more doors to be opened, the Gospel is our most powerful tool. The reason we go is to share the Gospel of Christ so people can be transformed by the Holy Spirit. Once someone accepts Christ, they are no longer the same person - the speed at which mental change happens depends on the individual - but they will no longer be the same.

- As Christians, we have hope in all hopeless situations because ultimately Jesus is going to win.

- Nothing is wasted in the Kingdom of God! No matter what we have done in our past or what we have been through, God will use it. God can use you; God wants to use you; God will use you!

Of course, God never misses an opportunity to speak to us individually (if we are listening!)! Beginning at Friday evening's service and continuing all throughout the weekend, God was communicating to me through these speakers. In my post yesterday, I shared my commitment to open my heart, surrender my will, be outward focused, and accept God's will for me without fear or hesitation. I can't say that I've fully upheld my commitment (I still have these mental battles between my doubts and fears and showing my trust in God by being obedient to Him when He calls me to move!), but I do believe that the Lord has solidified and clarified some of what I've been hearing Him tell me these last several months. So the journey continues... as I'm striving to stay in the center of God's will, I'm realizing that the center of God's will is not a destination, but the process itself. Discovering God's will comes from continuing to seek an intimate relationship with Him every single day. Christ meets us where we are and loves us as we are, but He refuses to leave us there - He is in the business of life transformation, and His work is never done!

Lastly, in regard to this blog... I don't know who I will share it with or who will choose to follow it, but in just the last few days since starting this I've discovered that it is very beneficial to me personally to write down my thoughts and lessons learned here. I keep a notebook of Scripture, songs, readings, etc., that touch me; but I've never been one to actually keep a journal with thoughts, feelings, happenings, etc. When I have tried that in the past, it has usually been during a rough time for me, and once I was through it, I didn't want to have that written reminder so I would throw it away (I know... I kind of missed the point of the journal!). But somehow this is different; it seems more to me as "journaling with a purpose" (I just didn't realize at the onset how much the purpose would be for me!). So if somehow this reaches someone and has an impact on them or they gain even one thing from it, I will consider it a blessing and praise God for finding a way to use it. But if it remains merely a tool for my own use, I will praise God for that as well (I seem to "listen" more and the words kind of hit me upside the head more when I put them out there like this! - There have already been several things that I've known in my heart were right and steps that I need to take and/or adjustments I need to make, but actually seeing them in front of me makes them really stand out and speak to me directly). If anyone understands any of that, it is truly a God thing!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Complacency, Confusion, A Wake Up Call

Our church has been having a missions conference this weekend, titled 'God's Heart For The World'. There are still two more services tomorrow, and we enjoyed an incredible worship celebration last night. We were blessed to hear from two awesome speakers: Ron Julian, Jr. and Donna Baptiste. This event could not have come at a more timely point for me personally (you'd think God planned it that way, huh?!). God has been doing a lot in my life over the last couple of years, especially the last six months; He has been putting me through a time of transformation (and I'll admit I didn't like it most of the time, and fought Him quite a bit along the way). For some time now, I have been sensing some leadings from Him towards a couple of new paths, that frankly are WAY out of my comfort zone and definitely outside of my realm of abilities. Now, I've learned that God does not look for our abilities, but for our availability; when we move forward in faith in unfamiliar territory, God is sure to receive all of the glory because it is very obvious that the task was only accomplished through Him. And I know that nothing is impossible with God. But... that doesn't make the obedience thing any easier, especially when you have already been making a lot of changes that really don't make sense to a lot of people. Of course, God never promised easy, only that He would be with us every step of the way. Surrender does not come without pain or struggle - But it is worth it! I read something awhile back that said "I'm so afraid that if I call Him, He will tell me that I must go that way." That is so true, at least for me. I want so desperately to stay in the center of God's will and hear His voice; but at the same time, I am afraid that I really will hear His voice and then be faced with showing my faith, trusting God, and being obedient to His leadings (ouch!). But, thankfully, God is not limited by our fears, and facing an impossibility gives us the opportunity to show what God can do through us!

So... back to the missions' speakers! A couple of the points that stuck with me from the evening: First, realizing that it is all of our jobs to make an investment in other people's lives. The question was asked, "Whose life are you investing in?" Obviously, this is not referring to monetary investing (although that sometimes comes into play as well); he was referring to us pouring ourselves into the lives of others, to connecting with them and building relationships so we can ultimately show them the love of Christ. This may start with helping to meet some of their very basic physical needs, but it doesn't end there; we must continue strive to fulfill their emotional and spiritual needs as well. If we don't speak God's words into their lives, who will?

Another key point I received from last night was that my life is not my own - God knows what is best - and we cannot become complacent with where we are and what we are doing. God is not required to tell us the plan He has for us, and He is entitled to change the direction we are headed at any given moment. I'm learning (the hard way I might add!) that more often than not God will give us the next step we are to take and will only show us the following step after we take that first one - the moment we hear His voice is the moment we are to obey (again, easier said than done!). We need to have a heart for the lost, and not be complacent about reaching them; and we cannot be confused about who the lost actually are - the mission field has come to our own neighborhoods and work places. Of course, there will always be a need for overseas missionaries, but the need is great and God is working right where we are. To develop and keep our passion for the lost, we need to keep our passion for the love of the Lord. I know I very seldom feel equipped to do many of the things God asks me to do (and I don't believe I'm alone in feeling that way). But guess what? God wants to use us, not because there is no one else, but because He chose us for a specific purpose. How cool is that?! So the questions asked last night: "Am I right now actively sharing the gospel of Christ?" "Who have I led to Christ recently - in the past year, two years, three years, etc.?"

So... complacency (lack of prayer and studying God's word, development of spiritual disciplines, being more dependant on ourselves than on God, not having open eyes and a heart for the lost, etc.), confusion (Who really are the lost, and where are they?), a wake up call (God chose you and me specifically to fulfill His purposes - are we taking action when He calls us?).

I don't know about you, but I have not been living up to my commitment to the Lord, and I have too often allowed my own fears and limitations to limit what God is wanting to do through me. I mentioned this weekend's speakers coming at a timely point for me, and that I have been sensing some leadings from Him towards a couple of new paths (I hesitate to use the words "being called" because while it is very exciting it is also somewhat scary to me, and I don't really like thinking about it!). I have shared what I have been feeling with only two people (and I'm not sure how I happened to do that!). Unfortunately, as much as I "say" I want to stay in the center of God's will, I still allow my earthly tendencies to allow me to hesitate in being obedient. God has been very gracious and has not given up on me when I have been hesitant to obey, and I have eventually made many of the changes that I knew He was calling me to make (Donna Baptiste pointed out last night how ridiculous it is that we wrestle with God about where He is taking us - He always wins - Thank God!). It's that word "eventually" that bothers me - true faith is belief in action, and a lack of faith ultimately reveals a lack of trust in God. It makes me cringe to even think that I do not trust God 100% in everything I do; but when I hesitate and don't take action when He calls, that is what I am showing to others. Is that an attitude that leads me to invest in the lives of other people, and to actively share the gospel of Christ to the lost? I don't' think so.

I'm praying tonight, for me and for each person who is serious about following Christ and reaching the lost for Him, that whatever God calls me to do He will enable me to do it. I ask that He will instill in me a simple, perfect trust in Him, where I no longer want God's blessings, but I only want Him. I am asking Him to remind me to surrender everything to Him every day, to show me where He is working around me, and give me courage to act when He tells me to act. I pray that He will help me to trust Him and obey Him as much as I long to love Him.

So, I don't know what tomorrow's messages from these amazing speakers will bring; but I do know that I am committing to open my heart, surrender my will, be outward focused, and accept God's will for me without fear or hesitation.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

New Beginnings!

I just finished registering my son for kindergarten; between that and a conversation with my husband after that, I decided today would be as good as any to begin this blog (although I haven't told anyone about it, and I'm not sure when I will if at all, this may be old news by the time anyone sees it!).

When I told my husband, Jeff, that his baby boy was officially registered for kindergarten, he asked me if I was over the shock of having a baby yet. See, when we had Kevin, our daughter Kelly was 14 and our son Walter was 12, so needless to say Kevin was a BIG surprise! I call him our "bonus" baby (I never liked it when people call their kids a "mistake" or an "oops" - just because we didn't know he was coming doesn't mean that he wasn't in God's plan all along.)! My answer to my husband was that yes I am over the shock of having a baby and am focused on the blessing that he is. I also told him that I'm learning more every day that God is full of surprises and has more in store than we know!

I'll share more as I continue with this post because that is really the reason that I decided to start this post. I have great friends who have blogs out there that I love, but I just couldn't imagine having anything to post that anyone would want to invest their time in reading. But God has been doing so many amazing things in my life and in the lives of my friends, family, and others around me that i decided this could be a great place to share what He is doing and all that He can do if we just allow Him to lead us.

I chose the title "Surrendered & In The Potter's Hands" because those are the overwhelming lessons I've been learning, especially over the last couple of years. While I have been a believer my entire life, I did not understand having a personal relationship with God until April 2002 when I re-committed my life to Christ and began searching for how to develop that relationship. While I told others about listening to what God told them to do and knew small things that I felt God wanted me to do, I never understood how someone could "really" hear where God was leading them until the last couple of years, and especially the last six months. So that is where the title of this blog comes in... It has been very difficult for me to surrender everything to Him completely and to obey what He tells me. However, I've learned that my life is in far better hands when I surrender it to God and His leading (duh!). Obviously, I've had to allow Him to change me and stretch me way outside of my comfort zone, and learn to trust Him completely (hence 'In The Potter's Hands').

I'm no where close to where I need to be (and I hope I never begin to think I am!), but one of my prayers everyday is that God will show me where He is working around me and give me the courage to act when He calls me to do something. I still struggle sometimes with being obedient immediately, but I have been getting there eventually and am getting better at realizing when I am being disobedient and adjusting more quickly. I have also tried to let go of trying to know where God is leading me or what the big picture is and just focus on that next step. It is only when I trust Him and take that next step without knowing any of the following steps that He begins to show me another step. Besides being Biblical, I really don't think we could handle it if God told us His whole specific plan that He has for our lives. Plus, I think we would focus too much on the plan at that point than on God. So, my daily goal and focus is simply to be "Surrendered & In The Potter's Hands"! Admittedly not always easy, but always right.

New beginnings... Kindergarten and beyond! Sometimes makes me anxious, nervous, confused, chaotic, and even a little psycho at times - but always exciting and reassuring with a peace that comes only from a personal, life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ!