Not my will, but Yours be done!

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

That sure looks good at the top of a blog page, doesn't it? But how easy it can be to forget that promise and get wrapped up in our own desires, goals, and preferences... at least for me. It's been no secret to those around me that God has called me to make A LOT of changes in my life over the last several months. While I have been excited about those changes and eager to be obedient to the callings of God, I must also confess that I have struggled with the growing pains involved with making those changes.

Obedience starts with having a heart that says "yes" to God... but it doesn't end there. To be truly surrendered means turning everything over to God, in every area of our life. I've realized that there have been certain areas of my life that I have kept "protected" from the control of God. Not consciously, mind you. But there are things that I have conveniently overlooked, tolerated, or made excuses about that really come down to a matter of surrender. And surrender cannot be a one-time decision... it is a decision that must be made daily - and really, throughout every minute of every day.

Maybe that is where the challenge for me lies? Consistency! Eating right, exercising, working on my marriage and supporting my husband, being a patient and attentive parent, putting Bible study and prayer first in my days, etc. etc. etc.... All of those things are not too difficult short-term, but seem to become a challenge over a long period of time.

Sometimes, too, I think that I allow fear that I might fail God stand in the way of giving God total control of my life and walking the path that He lays before me. But then I'm reminded that, yes there will definitely be times that I fail God and my heart my wander away from Him, but He will never fail me. It is at those times (like in the last several days!) that I am completely overwhelmed by God's love and His never-ending pursuit of me!

At times, I feel as though I have some sort of "spiritual schizophrenia"! If you ever listen to Contemporary Christian Music, you've probably heard the song, "Two Hands" by Jars of Clay (if not, check out the playlist below, song #3). The chorus of that song says, "I use one hand to pull You closer, the other to push You away; if I had two hands doing the same thing, lifted high, lifted high." I want so desperately to be obedient and to be in close fellowship with Jesus; but at the same time, I find myself pushing away the One who loves me the most and wants to bless me in ways I can' t even imagine.

Following Christ and surrendering your will to His is not always easy and it may even feel like a sacrifice (Is that not ridiculous to think that WE are the ones sacrificing?!). Quite often, doing so creates a feeling of chaos within our human souls. But at the same time, striving to be in the center of God's will - no matter how challenging it may seem at times - also brings with it a feeling of blessing, joy, completeness, and peace.

So... where does that leave me (and you)? I believe we must begin by making a point to surrender everything to Him first thing every morning and throughout our entire day. And we must be willing to ask God for the help that only He can provide. And those two things must be done in that order... God is waiting for a heart that is surrendered and ready to obey before He speaks.

I am so grateful for the many ways that God faithfully calls me back to obedience, and for the wonderful people that He has put in my life to help keep me on track! That may have to be a blog entry of its' own for another day!

My prayer for you today is that you will realize that you have a God so strong to hold you, a God so smart to guide you, a God so all-knowing to teach you, and a God so powerful to control your future... and that you will stand on His strength instead of your own.